My Relaxed Hair Changed And Here's What I'm Doing

When something changes with your hair, it doesn't necessarily mean that your hair is suddenly unhealthy or that you've completely messed up your routine. Sometimes there can be a smaller change that needs some attention.

That's what happened with my relaxed hair.

For a few months, I noticed that my relaxed hair hadn’t been feeling quite like itself. Every now and then, my hair would feel rougher than usual. I also noticed that it seemed to tangle more easily.

At first, I didn't think too much of it because the changes weren't happening every single wash day. But eventually, I started paying closer attention.

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Then I had a wash day where the tangling was much more noticeable than usual. My hair became really tangled while I was washing it, and detangling afterward was harder than it normally is.

That's when I knew I needed to figure out what was going on. I had some ideas about what could be causing the changes, so I decided to talk to my hairstylist during my next relaxer touch-up.

What to do when your hair is changing

My goal wasn't to panic and completely overhaul my routine. I wanted to pay attention to what was happening and see if I could figure out what my hair needed.

If you’re going through something similar, here are some things you can do to start figuring out what might be going on and formulate a plan.

Talk to a hair professional

Thankfully, I had a relaxer touch-up scheduled a couple of weeks later. So I brought up the roughness and increased tangling with my stylist during that appointment. Her thoughts were similar to some of my own.

One possibility we discussed was that hormonal changes could be playing a role. I'm over 40, and I've noticed some changes in my hair as I've gotten older. Some of them have been inconsistent, so I haven't always been sure whether they were actually related to getting older, my products, my routine, or something else.

Perimenopause was something I had already wondered about because of some of the changes I'd noticed. That doesn't mean it’s 100% certain that hormonal changes are the reason my hair feels different. I'm still watching my hair and trying to get a firmer grasp on that.

If your hair changes as you get older, it can be tempting to immediately blame hormones or assume that your hair is just going to be different now. But there can be several reasons for changes in how your hair feels and behaves.

That's why I'm taking the approach of paying attention to my hair instead of assuming I already know the answer.

Pay attention to when the change started

Sometimes the timing of the change can give you a clue. Ask yourself some questions and do a bit of self-assessment on your hair. The answers to these questions can also be helpful when you talk to your hair stylist.

• Did your hair start feeling different after you introduced a new product?
• Did you change how often you wash?
• Have you been using more heat?
• Have you gone longer between washes?
• Have you been swimming?
• Have you been dealing with hard water or buildup?
• Have you been doing more strengthening or protein treatments?
• Have you changed how often you deep condition?

Give your hair more of what it likes

There was some good news. My stylist said my hair was actually looking healthier. My stylist said my hair felt more moisturized than it had during my previous appointment. She also thought it looked and felt healthier.

That was definitely something I wanted to hear. Even though I had been noticing roughness and tangling, my hair wasn't necessarily going in a completely negative direction.

She recommended that I continue paying attention to my hair and keep moisturizing products as a focus because they could help with the rough texture.

She also suggested that I try Design Essentials Honey Creme Detangling Shampoo INSERT LINK. I purchased a bottle from Ulta a few days later.

I've seen very mixed opinions about this shampoo. Some people find it hydrating and helpful for detangling, while others say it leaves their hair feeling dry. I'm interested to see how it works for my relaxed hair.

Try to prevent future issues

During my appointment, I also got a trim, or technically a dusting, to clean up my ends. My ends had started looking a little raggedy and uneven, so I got a dusting to clean them up. Cleaning up my ends may also help lessen some of the tangling.

If your hair is tangling more than usual, pay attention to where the tangling is happening. If the tangling is mostly around your ends, your ends may need some attention. This could mean paying more attention to how you’re conditioning or giving them a little cleanup.

Rough or uneven ends don't necessarily mean that you need a major cut, but keeping an eye on them can help you catch problems before they become more noticeable.

Create a hair plan

I came out of that appointment with a better idea of how to move forward and to change or not change during my next relaxer stretch.

The plan I've created may not be the same plan that works for your hair. This isn't meant to be a prescription for what you should do. I'm sharing it as an example of the things I'm considering as I try to figure out what my hair needs.

1. Stretch my relaxer within my comfortable range
I got my touch-up at 11 weeks and plan to go back to my usual 10–12 week relaxer stretch.

I don't want to intentionally stretch much longer than that because I've noticed that when I go beyond 12 weeks, I can start getting frustrated with managing my hair and have more issues with breakage.

Of course, I'll adjust if something comes up. My hair gets the final say.

2. Make moisture a bigger focus
There are two ways I’ll be able to make sure my hair is getting all of the moisture it needs and wants.

The first way is to continue using moisturizing products throughout my routine. Especially when it comes to the shampoos I use.

One shampoo I'll be using regularly is the TGIN Moisture Rich Sulfate-Free Shampoo INSERT LINK. I recently bought two bottles while they were on sale at Sally Beauty, so I already have plenty to work with.

I’m also going to be giving that Design Essentials Honey Creme Detangling Shampoo INSERT LINK a try since it’s supposed to be moisturizing.

The goal isn't to use as many moisturizing products as possible, though. It's to pay attention to how my hair feels and make sure I'm not neglecting moisture while I'm also doing treatments designed to strengthen my hair.

The other way is to do mid-week washes. My normal wash schedule is about once a week, but adding a mid-week wash could give my hair another opportunity to be washed and conditioned and could help me keep it feeling softer and more manageable.

As a bonus, this will also help me work through some of the hair products I've accumulated.

For these mid-week washes, I'd keep things simple and moisture-focused. I'd probably use a rinse-out conditioner instead of doing a full deep-conditioning session so the wash doesn't turn into an all-day project.

The one week I wouldn’t do a mid-week wash is the week before my relaxer touch-up. I don't want to wash my hair a couple of days before getting a relaxer because I don’t want to irritate my scalp a few days before the relaxer is applied.

3. Continue using strengthening treatments
Focusing on moisture doesn't mean I'm going to stop using strengthening treatments on my hair. These will come in the form of bond treatments and protein treatments.

For this relaxer stretch, I'm planning to rotate my treatments. For example, I may do:

• Week 1: Protein treatment
• Week 2: No treatment
• Week 3: Bond treatment
• Week 4: No treatment
• Then I'll repeat the cycle

I'm spacing these treatments out rather than using them every wash day because I don't want to overdo it with the strengthening treatments.

While I’m going to be incorporating bond treatments more regularly into my wash day this relaxer stretch, I'm still not completely sold on them. Because of that, I want to give them a fair chance by using one consistently rather than trying it once or twice and deciding whether it works.

4. Keep an emphasis on scalp care
The roughness isn't the only thing I'm paying attention to. I've also been keeping an eye on shedding, so I'll continue with my scalp care routine.

That includes using a scalp-focused shampoo with ingredients intended to support a healthier scalp and help with shedding. I only plan to use those types of shampoos primarily on my scalp because I've found that they can be drying to my hair. That matters right now because I'm trying to increase moisture rather than take it away.

I'm considering alternating between a scalp scrub and scalp-focused shampoo rather than using both aggressively on the same wash day. I don't want to create unnecessary scalp irritation while trying to take better care of my scalp.

Another thing I’m considering is bringing green tea hair rinses back into my wash days. I used to do green tea rinses regularly but eventually stopped because I forgot to make the rinse one time and then just...never got back into the habit. I didn't notice any obvious negative changes from stopping, so the habit simply disappeared.

I'm bringing it back because caffeinated green tea contains caffeine, which has been studied for potential effects on hair follicles and hair growth. I'm not treating it as a cure for shedding or expecting it to solve a hair-loss problem, but it's something I previously enjoyed incorporating into my routine.

I’ll also regularly use my two scalp serums. I’ve been using the Neutrogena Hair Restore Serum and the Pantene Abundant & Strong Serum on my scalp at night. I'm continuing to use these because I've personally noticed some improvement in the areas where I've been using them. That doesn't mean they'll produce the same results for someone else.

Your hair will give you clues

There isn't always one obvious reason your hair suddenly starts feeling different. Changes in your routine, product buildup, how often you're washing and conditioning, and heat and environmental factors can all affect how your hair feels and behaves. Changes in your hair and scalp as you get older may also play a role.

That's why I don't think it's helpful to immediately assume that one product, or one problem, is responsible. Looking at what has changed around the same time your hair started behaving differently can give you a better place to start.

And if the changes are significant, persistent or accompanied by noticeable hair loss, breakage or scalp problems, it's worth talking with a dermatologist or other qualified healthcare professional rather than trying to troubleshoot everything with hair products.

If you'd like to hear me talk through what I've noticed, what my stylist said, and the plan I'm making for my next relaxer stretch, you can watch the full video here:

And if you want to see some of the moisturizing products I'll be using on my relaxed hair, check out the links below.